The Iran War and 15,110 Uber Conversations
The war in Iran is everywhere on my social media feed. And everyone seems to have an opinion about it.
I have opinions too, about nearly everything. The real question is whether it’s wise to always share them or if we truly understand what we’re discussing.
When it comes to the war in Iran, I know very little about what’s actually happening on the ground. I read articles and I watch videos. I see posts and commentary online. Like most people, I’m consuming information from a distance and trying to piece it together. But the reality is that we’re barely into the beginning of this conflict. It’s been days, maybe weeks, and yet the internet is already full of people who seem completely certain about the outcome.
History doesn't usually unfold that way.
I love watching documentaries and reading books about World War II, Vietnam, the Gulf War, etc. What I realize is that the full story of those events often takes decades to understand. Documents get declassified. Historians piece together timelines. We begin to see the motivations, mistakes, and consequences that were invisible at the time. When we’re living through events in real time, we’re usually seeing only fragments of the picture.
So why does an Uber driver have anything to say about any of this?
Because over the past several years, I’ve given 15,110 rides. That means more than 15,000 people have gotten into the back seat of my car, each bringing their own stories, beliefs, fears, and perspectives. One unexpected skill I’ve developed from this job is listening.
But listening is much harder than it sounds.
Growing up, people often told me I wasn’t a good listener. My mind wandered. My eyes darted around the room. I was usually thinking about what I wanted to say next instead of absorbing what someone else was telling me. Uber driving has slowly forced me to change that habit. When someone is sitting behind you and talking about their life, their job, their frustrations, or their opinions, the best thing you can do is simply let them speak.
Over the last week, I’ve had a couple of passengers mention the war in Iran. One passenger had family in the region. Another had strong political views about what the United States should or shouldn’t be doing. None of them had exactly the same perspective, and none of them claimed to have all the answers. What they had were opinions shaped by their experiences.
That’s something I’ve learned from thousands of rides: everyone has an opinion.
But having an opinion doesn’t necessarily mean you’re an expert.
Take something much simpler than geopolitics. I have a strong opinion about the Tesla Cybertruck. I think it’s one of the most fascinating vehicles built in the last couple of decades. I love that it looks different. I love the design constraints of stainless steel panels and the bold decision to make something that doesn’t resemble every other truck on the road.
Plenty of people disagree with me.
Some passengers say the Cybertruck is the ugliest vehicle ever. A few even joke they’d cancel if I drove one. I don’t argue. I ask why they dislike it, or they ask why I like it. Sometimes, that ends the conversation.
But disagreement doesn’t have to become an argument.
In politics, we often assume that people who aren’t loudly defending their views must be “moderate” or undecided. I’m not sure that’s really true. I think most of us hold strong opinions about different issues. The difference is that sometimes those opinions fall on the left, sometimes on the right, and sometimes somewhere in between. If you combine all of them together, you might appear moderate from the outside, but internally, you’re still a very opinionated person.
The most important lesson I’ve learned from driving Uber is not about changing my opinions, but about becoming more curious and open to other perspectives.
Instead of trying to persuade every passenger that I’m right, I’ve discovered that it’s far more interesting to understand how someone arrived at their perspective. Even when they aren’t experts, their experiences can reveal something I hadn’t considered before. Listening doesn’t mean agreeing. It just means acknowledging that another human being sees the world through a different lens.
Unfortunately, not everyone sees it that way.
A few weeks ago, I lost a close friend over politics. We had been friends for almost twenty years. Out of the blue, he sent me a message saying he could no longer be friends with me because of the politicians I voted for. Our opinions were different, and for him, that difference was enough to end the relationship.
That moment has stayed with me. It sucks.
While the war in Iran and political debates dominate our screens, the reality of life is happening somewhere else. It’s happening in our families, our friendships, and the everyday interactions we have with the people around us. The passenger sitting in the back seat of my car isn’t an abstract political opponent. They’re a person trying to get home safely. They have a job, a family, and their own set of challenges.
Real life happens much closer to home than the arguments we see online.
That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t care about global events or political decisions. Of course, we should. Those things matter. But sometimes we get so emotionally invested in distant conflicts that we forget how to treat the people right in front of us.
If driving Uber has taught me anything, it’s that there’s enormous value in simply listening.
Fifteen thousand conversations have shown me everyone carries a story. Each adds perspective to my view of the world. I still have opinions and care about the world, but I gain more from asking questions than arguing.
In a world where everyone seems certain about everything, learning to listen with curiosity and genuine openness to others’ views might be the most valuable skill of all.
